Dealing with a "Breakup"

Dealing with a "Breakup"

Dealing with a breakup can be so tough. Sometimes, you don't even have to be dating to have a breakup. I think anyone from an older generation may not understand this as much, but today a common occurrence is "talking". For example, 

"Hey Jake, are you and Grace dating?" 

"Nah, we're just talking right now"

Its a weird in-between stage of a relationship that teens and now adults can stay in for over a year. This has happened to me before. The "we're together, nobody else can have you, but we aren't dating" mentality is huge and honestly, I hate it. Some people use this as a way to see multiple people at a time, with the excuse that they aren't actually dating anybody. 

Ending one of these "breakups" can be just as hard as a committed relationship. Many friends of mine are in these relationships, and usually, one person is using the other. 

The best way to get out of any breakup situation is DISTANCE! I don't just mean avoiding them in the hallway or walking down the street. This means "BLOCKED". I told this to one of my close friends dealing with this situation recently. Her response was, "blocking is so unnecessary. It would cause too much drama".

I was in a year long "talking relationship". I was dropped for someone else every month or two, but I was hooked. The only way I got relief was by blocking, unfollowing, and avoiding this person at all costs. A year later, I'm in a loving relationship with the man I want to marry (SPOILER: we're not just "talking").

The less you see or talk to a person you had feelings for, the less you think about them. The less you think about them, the less you like them. 

It feels like you will always be stuck in this pattern of falling for someone, but have no commitment, no certainty. The best way to get out of this pattern is to find someone who doesn't fall into that category. 

*not to brag or anything* My boyfriend is such a genuinely good man. I never expected to date someone like him. He didn't have a lot of friends who were girls, I was his first kiss. He is quiet and keeps to himself, except around me and his family. He doesn't play emotional mind games. I don't even think he would know how to. I am so lucky to have gotten out of my previous situation, one that gave me some trust issues surrounding boys.

Long story short, you need distance. You need to know your worth. You do not have to suffer through a confusing, toxic relationship.

You deserve better :)